Trying to get back with your ex-lover and wondering why s/he is keeping a distance? We list out some mistakes you may be making
Ok, so you’re still passionately in love with your ex even though you’ll have decided to end things. And despite all your efforts to get him or her back into your life, it feels like you’re pushing them further away? You may just be making some of the classic ‘getting back’ errors.
Here are five things you should avoid doing:
1. Beg to be taken back:
Pleading for another chance is not going to earn you any brownie points, we can assure you. Incase your ex is still carrying a grudge against something that you may have said or done, excessive begging is only going to irritate him/her even further. We must warn you here that calling or messaging excessively, keeping a tab on the other persons moves, turning up at the most unexpected places and making a scene to be taken back and making everyone know that you want to get back is not going to help your cause in any way. Instead, your ex will actually start looking for ways and means to keep away from you and that’s not something your want happening.
2. Apologise profusely for everything :
Saying sorry for the mistakes that you’ve made is a good way to start making amends. But do not go overboard. Taking all the blame on yourself and profusely apologising for anything and everything may be mis-interpreted as a sign of weakness — that you are willing to go to any extent whatsoever. Hence, incase an apology is called for, give a heartfelt one and keep it short and to the point. Do not go on whining about the same thing for days on end, more than helping you patch up, it may end up irritating the other person even more. Instead, once you’re done apologising, take time out to remember the good times you’ve spent together.
3. Try to convince them that you are the love of their life :
Okay you were once the most-talked-about couple, but remember, you have broken up. S/he may have met or may be getting close to someone else. Calling up your ex-flame constantly and desperately trying to convince them that you, and only you, are the love of their life may make him/her resent you even further. What you need to do instead is talk and explore all the possibilities of getting back together. Discuss what it is that you loved about each other and what were the irritating habits.
4. Try to get them to see that it ‘wasn’t really your fault’ :
Unless it’s a mutual decision, when a relationship breaks up, there’s always one person who takes the rap for it. Ironically, in some cases, it may not even be that person’s fault. Sounds familiar? If the answer is yes and if you are making all efforts to get your ex-lover to see the reality and s/he refuses to, stop right there. As mentioned earlier, instead of making him/her see reason, you may end up angering them even more.
5. Promise to change (what he/she didn’t like about you) for good :
Unless you promise to break a bad habit, be aware and careful about what you’re promising your ex that you are going to change about yourself. Change is not easy and keeping a promise, especially when you’re trying to get back in a relationship, can be a tough commitment. If broken, it could indeed spell the end of your efforts.
